Dealing With Loneliness
Occasionally we all have to cope with loneliness sometimes. Reason or no reason for it, it just strikes you when at least expected.
It usually does when you are going through some deep life changing process where you have to deal with some kind of loss: a parent, a partner, a friend, separation with your children while going on a college etc.
As there are many reasons that can make you feeling lonely,the question imposed here is how to deal with loneliness when it hits you all of a sudden?
Well, there are many ways to deal with it and here we will present some of them based on people experiences.
1.Discover The Reasons For It
First of all, you should try to analyze which are the reasons that brought you to this state.
Is it a separation, family distance, or maybe your career path where you have found many friends and enemies too?
Sometimes, success knows to be a lonely path by itself, forcing you to find inner strength for all sorts of obstacles down the road (and they’re always a bumpy ones).
But, don’t fall emotionally.
It is a perfectly normal process that almost everybody is going through when the load over shoulders becomes too heavy to bear.
When you determine the reasons for these feelings, it is easier to work on them trying to resolve everything that has put you down.
It would be a good thing if you have someone you can confide to, or, if you don’t want to share your emotions with no one, at least do it with a professional therapist.
Don’t keep everything inside as it is not healthy for your mental clarity. Share your thoughts, or even write a diary and see why it is healthy thing to do.
2.What Being Lonely Means To You
For me, it isn’t such a bad feeling.
I do want to get some solitude periods where I seek answers to many questions, or I contemplate deep within to find problem solutions if any.
Having a short time period of loneliness within the day(or by the end of the day), gives you a possibility to reboot your mental system back to work with a full steam.
At least it is a case with me. I really need at least 1 h of solitude to “digest” the day. It really gives me the mental clarity I need so I can move on.
Don’t worry, being a semi or full time introvert is not defining you as anti-social person.
You just need “your time” for a while, so you can function better later.
3.The Human Need To Be Connected
People are social beings that have natural need to be connected. Why?
- We need each other
- We learn from each other
- We go forward exchanging experiences
- We grow accepting differences between us
- We rise spiritually and connect on a more deeper level than you can realize
- We all come from the same matter and are in union with the life on this Earth
- The sooner you realize this, the better for you it will be
Don’t stay to long in a period of loneliness, as you impose both physical and mental health at risk.
So, you better do something about it, quickly!
4. No – Don’t Put The Blame On Yourself !
Why blaming yourself?
It is not your fault being in this state of loneliness.
A you already know, modern living tend to create more lonely people that you can ever imagine.
A divorce, separation, changing jobs, new surroundings, rise of single parent homes is something which you’ll meet everyday.
As you can see, you are not the only one on this path, so, why would you put a blame on yourself?
5. Join Some Good Cause Community
Joining a cause based community is a good way to meet new people and gain some new life experiences.
Doing something worthy will make you feel much better, knowing that your volunteer work may bring help to someone in need.
Volunteering has been proved as a great antidote to loneliness.
Give more and you’ll receive more.
6. Join A Sport Club
By joining a gym, yoga or running club, you create a path for you to meet new people, and make connections with those who share similar interests as your.
Hiking clubs are also great for the matter, as they organize out of town trips, where a group of unknown people bond among each other.
One can lead to another, and maybe a true love (or a friend) is waiting for you out there.
7. Discover Your Empath Characteristic
If you have natural born desire to help people, then it defines you as an empathic person. There is no better feeling when you know that you have helped someone in need.
If you are in position to help – do it!
If you are financially well settled – donate!
Helping others in need is simply an amazing form of intimate connection,that for sure will reduce feelings of isolation.
8. Money Won’t Help You
Do you know that the richest people are the loneliest ones?
Money can’t always buy a true love or friends.
The only thing you can get here is a bunch of people who are faking true friendship, so they can gain something from you, such as social status or money benefit.
Filling the gap of loneliness with material things isn’t going to lead you anywhere.
You feel miserable and you’ve decided that a good shopping will fill the void inside. You went for a shopping and spent few, or thousands of dollars on a new clothes, gadgets, furniture etc.
Did you feel better and fuller?
Yes, maybe, but for a short period of time.
But the void was still there, wasn’t it?
Don’t get fooled.
Money can’t get you out of loneliness.
It just disguise it well.
9. Use Social Media Wisely And In Moderate Way
The new age brought a new way of socializing: social networks.
But, don’t get so crazy with it, as you don’t want to end up all day on a computer or a mobile, chatting with “social friends”.
Rather have live chat.
Person to person.
There is nothing better than a real, eye to eye conversation.
Why I am saying this?
Because the minute you log off, you’ll end up all alone – AGAIN.
Definitely, you need something steadier for you to cope and get out of your period of loneliness faster.
And don’t wait for someone to drag you out of there.
It is your own battle where you should put much effort on your own.
Snap out of it and do it faster!
10. Be Kind To People
You should always be kind to people, especially elders.
Giving your best attention to others, creates a warm and high-lifted heart feeling that you’ll maybe feel for the first time.
Sharing your love and kindness isn’t a curse – it is a blessing.
You know the old saying: If you want to have loving feelings today, then do loving things…
11. Find or Return To Your Hobbies
Often more, when people get stuck at some period in life such as loneliness, and while seeking their way out, they analyze themselves more.
While being in that process, they often return to the things that made them happy such as long forgotten hobbies. Some start to paint, bake, cook, neat, write, do some carpenter stuff, play musical instrument etc.
And some, seek for new ways of inner fulfillment, trying to find a brand new hobby.
Some people travel, some start a blog, learn new languages and so on.
The point here is that, having a hobby is a good way to fill the void inside, leading you to a slow and healthful way of healing.
12. Change Some Habits
If you were a long-timer at practicing bad health and life habits, maybe this period of loneliness you are going through might turn out to be a good and positive thing for you.
As you will start analyzing yourself and the habits you have, you just might change your overall being, starting a new page and writing a new chapter in your life.
If this happens, then, bless this short-term loneliness as it brought you to making some good life choices, decisions and directions.
Finally, something good came out of this…
13. Keep A Diary
We have already had a post suggesting why this is a great thing to do and you can read all about it here.
14. Declutter Your Home
This is good base to start.
Do you see a mess, or a clean, neat and tidy looking home. If this is not the case with you, than, you need to seriously consider doing some changes.
Declutter your home.
The only way to start decluttering your life is to declutter your home.
- Plan it thoughtfully and act fast
- Throw away or donate your stuff if they are in good shape
- Make your home to be a breathing space and not a suffocating one
- Feel the energy flow the minute you un-block it
…And enjoy the airy feeling prevailing
Do you see the difference?
15. A Quick Look Back
Looking back doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing.
The positivity coming out of it is to make a quick check on all the good and bad decisions you’ve made, old and new friendships, some detours in life, even what was worthy and what was not.
If looking back can lead you to a brighter future, then do it. Just don’t fall in self-pitting trap that usually occurs when starting the process.
Look back, harvest the goods and move on!
16. If You Work From Home
Remote work by using your home as a base, can be entirely lonely experience because there you are : you and your laptop.
If you want to avoid that feeling, you can always rent a spot in some office, creating a co-worker environment.
Also, you can try to do some work at cafe places, as they can be inspiring for the work you are doing – especially if you are blogging.
Change the surrounding occasionally.
Breathe a new inspiring fresh air once in a while.
17. Love Yourself
Be your best friend.
Staying grounded during this process will highly motivate to move on, and leave that place of solitude you fell in accidentally.
Treat your soul.
See the slow rise above and enjoy the feeling of independence!
18.Un-meaningful Romance Isn’t The Cure
Don’t jump headless in too many meaningless relationships just to fill the emptiness within. At the end, you will end up more hurt than before.
If you decide you need a new romance, at least do it slowly and if you find any acceptable partner – develop the story.
19. Get Some Live Socializing
Go to events.
Go to see the latest movie.
Go to theater.
Go to see a basketball match.
Go to a gallery.
Step out of your comfort zone by simply showing up wherever you can, and invite someone to come along. Meeting new people will do only good for you.
Get out from your home.
20. Host A Party
This the best way to cheer yourelf up.
Invite, friends, friends of friends, neighbors, co -workers, family members…and have a great time.
As you can see, being lonely isn’t something you should run away from at any cost, but use that period to determine directions in life and improvements of your well-being.
At the end, a little soul searching hasn’t hurt anyone, don’t you think?