Surviving infidelity is tough topic to discuss. There’s almost no person in this world who hadn’t experience it and knows how difficult it is to handle the situation.
Even when you are in love and everything seems fine, betrayal might suddenly hit you.
You immediately start wandering why it happened, how you didn’t see it coming and is it possible to survive it?
The truth is – the infidelity signs may have always been there, but living in a pink bubble didn’t allow you to see it coming.
By far it is the worst felling ever – being betrayed by someone you’ve been devoted to for so long.
You’ve noticed that annoying feeling in your stomach that something is going on, but you let the ride, not wanting to believe that anything is going on.
Truth is always tough to bare as well as surviving infidelity.
Your sex life starts to suffer, your partner becomes very private about their cell phone use, and suddenly a lot of work “obligations” appear out of nowhere.
The distance between you becomes like a mountain you can’t climb anymore. And soon enough, you’re gonna start stumbling upon tons of evidence, right there in front of your face.
The first thing everybody does in such situations is confronting the partner, and then, the everlasting question appears: Should I stay or should I go?
Yes, you always imagined that if someone cheats you, you would leave immediately, but you find that your love for your partner draws you back on and on again.
Finally, you’ve decided to stay.
And as you both try to heal your relationship (somehow), you begin to recognize the enormous challenges you’ll be put through, while dealing with the infidelity shadows hanging in the air.
Soon enough they will start suffocating you and in the aftermath of betrayal, you’ll see how difficult it is to recover.
10 Most Common Infidelity Signs
There are always specific signs leading you to a thought that your partner is cheating, and these are the most common:
- Your partner becomes emotionally distant
- Your partner becomes easily angry, critical and even cruel
- Complain about controlling issues
- Sudden increase in working hours, business trips, late night meetings, or out of town meetings
- Paying too much attention to appearance
- Sudden urge for life and unusual energy bursts
- Defensiveness in accusations
- Extra flirty with opposite sex
- Sudden need to be by the computer or in their private nest
- Sudden changes in sex life (better or worse)
Noticing just one or all of the above signs of infidelity, does not always guarantee your partner is cheating.
They are simply the common signs reported by those who have been cheated on. There are also many other factors in life causing a person to act in any of the ways mentioned above.
So, before accusing someone for cheating, you should dig a little bit deeper.
Surviving infidelity isn’t an easy process.
Here we give you five common reasons people find themselves unable to recover from.
1.You Want To Know All The Details
Many insist of knowing all the details thinking they can put an ease to digesting it, but they are wrong. It’s pure torture and self-punishment.
No matter the details – it is hard to digest them.
You’ll find yourself wasting too much mental and emotional energy, trying to de-focus all those intrusive thoughts, forcing yourself to remind that it it’s over and you can move on.
But can you?
As a betrayed one, you may find yourself living under a dark cloud of permanent sadness.
Instead of insisting on knowing every painful detail, it is better to ask yourself whether you can trust your partner again without knowing any details whatsoever.
2. You Can’t Open Sexually
This is something that people who have been betrayed usually experience. For some, it can be a really long run until they feel comfortable being intimate again with the person who hurt them.
As intimacy is based and requires trust, how to be intimate again when trust has been broken?
If you try to force yourself to make love, thoughts of your partner being with someone else may emerge and make you feel insecure and the whole act to seem repulsive.
You’ll wonder if your partner is thinking about someone else, instead of you.
In case you’ve decided to stay and move on, these scenarios will be present for quite sometime, and you may feel more alone than ever before.
Don’t force to be intimate so soon.
If you both truly want to give your relationship a chance to recover, you both have to be patient.
But there’s a chance you will ask your self : Can I really do this, after all?
3. You Don’t Trust Anymore
Trust is broken and you desperately try to believe the cheating is over. But soon enough, you realize you didn’t recognize the signs before, and you’ll struggle if you can notice them again.
There will be times when you’ll feel naive and foolish, so you’ll spy on your partner, even though you hate doing it. You never thought you can become such person.
Even if you discover the slightest inconsistency, you’ll confront your partner, but you’ll be unable to believe them.
The anxiety and the sense that you’ll miss the signs again, soon enough will become terribly exhausting and make you wonder whether or not the relationship can be fixed or worth the trouble.
Is it worth torturing yourself like this and all of that just for surviving infidelity issues?
If you think it is, then, it is good idea to start a couples therapy and see where you’ll be headed to.
However, there is one thing to know: without trust, love cannot exist!
4. You’ve Lost Confidence In Your Relationship
Yes you did.
The feelings of being secure and confident are ancient history, and you wonder if you’ll be able to experience them all over again.
You think this happened because of you, although everybody is convincing you otherwise.
The betrayal has made you questioning if you are attractive and sexy enough, smart enough and just generally being good enough.
Losing self-confidence in such cases is easy, and you should work more on that issue. Low self-esteem can also contribute to this and make your self-worth as low as possible.
Snap out of it and try to really answer the toughest questions: is your relationship so valuable to you that you want put yourself through this painful “torture”?
5. Hard To Admit – But It Happened Before
It happened before and you’ve decided to go with the process of saving your relationship. You thought the worst was behind you, but here it is – it happened again.
There’s one thing you should know: the new betrayal feels like a confirmation that your partner really won’t change, and it is about time to start thinking – what’s in it for you?
Almost everybody who was in this position, betrayed or betrayer, will tell you that if it happened once, it surely can happen again.
It all depends on many circumstances, and if you want to give your relationship a chance, do it.
In case you’ve been cheated on before, consider why you would stay.
Do you have children together?
If so, ask yourself what’s really best for them. Will you be able to create a safe, loving environment for them if you are in a relationship without any trust?
Is there a chance they would be better off with two happily divorced parents than unhappily married ones?
Talk to couples and children’s therapists to make sure you are making the right decision.
Soon enough you’ll see whether your decision was the right one for all of you.
This is a very complex topic, and many circumstances contribute of betrayal to happen. However, it is always good choice to initiate conversation about it and discover what triggered it.
Either you’ll have honest answers, either you’ll choose to live in a lie and try surviving infidelity issues.
It is all your choice.
There is no right answer about what to do in this situation – surviving infidelity.
No one can tell you what is best. You have to be your own advocate and decide what works best for you.
We can only say – choose to be really happy and sincerely loved!
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