Playful Time With Kids
Kids and parents bond in so many different ways, but sometimes playful teasing to your kids may result with negative effects.
Teasing about certain subjects un-intentionally, may cause issues of anxiety, low self-esteem, depression and even anger to young children.
You really need to reconsider these “playful” methods if you don’t want to trigger such issues.
Usually playful teasing between parents and their children is healthy way to strengthen their relationships and just have fun.
But, there are times when parents need to recognize when their playful teasing might cross the line and becomes hurtful to children.
It is good to observe you kids reaction when you tease – whether they have teary eyes, they look away, don’t engage, or they are not enjoying the play.
Teasing them about messy room is usually a teachable moment, but commenting on their appearance or weight issue – seems to be a taboo subject.
Playful teasing should be two way relation, and letting your children to tease you back is OK, until they cross the line.
Types Of Tease To Avoid
Children are sensitive little human beings, and it is really easy to hurt their feelings without even realizing that you have done such a thing.
Which areas should be avoided for such matter?
There is no parent in the world that wouldn’t like their kids to be the best in everything- sports especially. Most commonly, parents get too involved in the coaching process, and kids usually become afraid to make mistakes knowing their parents have high expectations from them.
Parent’s aren’t there for coaching – the couches are.
It is totally different approach and perception, when coach is teasing a child during a play, rather than a parent.
Coaches are using their methods towards motivation and not to disappointment, and it is a big difference.
If parents are not reasonable enough and do it their way, they may cause their child to quit the sport and damage their self-esteem.
If a child already knows it isn’t good at some sport, there is no need to push further about it. Emotions of disappointment and anxiety will become too high, which will make the child suffer from not accomplishing what was expected from him/her.
If a child has a natural born talent, talk to the coach and discuss about improving techniques.
It might help.
Each parent want their children to be well educated with the highest grades possible. But not every child has such good learning abilities.
Some has it, some not. Not everyone is an “A” material, and nobody can be the BEST in everything.
Of course disappointing grades may trigger negative emotions, but if you tease your child about it, at least do it in a way that will create environment where can be discussed finding the solution.
Being only upset as a parent, and without finding any solution, can become counterproductive both ways.
If your child has continuing problems in school, you may as well investigate has it been bullied in school, or there is something else.
If so, you need to act really fast to solve the problem as soon as possible.
Teasing your kid of being super-smart can boost its confidence when knowing it is an over-achiever. But, you should never compare a child to a child.
Everybody is different and it isn’t something to be ashamed of. Most of the time, kids view comparisons in a negative way, especially when twins are involved.
Don’t forget, they are their own people, and they have to know their differentialities.
They don’t have to become YOU.
It is really important to make your child feel grounded and walking down to earth. But it is not OK, if it closes 12 h to read and not to communicate with no one.
And that is a problem.
People are generally divided in two categories : extroverts and introverts. To which one you’ll belong depends on many circumstances.
Your kids too.
If your kid falls into a category of introverts and is really shy – don’t tease about it. You will worsen the situation.
It is perfectly fine if parents push their shy children to mingle with friends more. You can always invite their friends over, organize pijama party or a karaoke night, so you can make your child be a center of the event and boost its confidence a bit.
These small tricks are good for later in life. Boosting confidence and self-believe is the most healthiest thing you can do as a parent.
But, if you still notice shyness present and your kid withdraws from the crowd, then, maybe it will be a good idea to talk to a school guidance counselor and discover if any event has triggered this, or even talk to a child psychiatrist to establish these behavior patterns.
Today, obesity has become a huge world wide problem, and may become, or is your children’s too. And to make it even worse, obese people are teased almost everywhere (unfortunately), and your kids will be no exception as well.
Studies have shown that being labeled as”too fat” in early childhood will enhance the odds of having an obese syndrome a decade later.
Obese teasing, received when kids were younger – may cause a permanent harm later on. If your kid has become an overweight, don’t tease about it because it already knows that.
Instead, involve and try to find a solution together. Be guidance through that hurtful journey of sweat and tears until results are accomplished.
Be their guiding angel.
Most children by the age of 3 have already mastered their ability to put clothes on. Giving them a task of dressing, helps them feel more competent and confident.
You will laugh at some clothing choices they’ll make, but you can guide them through the process. If you only tease them about it, you will leave them with the feeling of being judged.
If you tease, at least do it in a bit humorist way so everyone can laugh about it – even them.
Built their confidence. Don’t undermine it.
Their taste will change as they grow. They will often compare to school friends or fashion magazines. But don’t worry,their taste in clothing will come just in time and by aging.
As they change and mature, their sense of fashion will change too.
Just as it happened to you.
So, why the tease?
No matter if your kid is a redhead, wear braces or eye glasses, is short or tall – those are things you should never tease about.
This kind of parental teasing can have many negative side effects that can lead to low self-esteem issues, that will follow a child throughout its life and will be difficult to repair.
Young children are like sponges, they absorb everything and you never know what kind of effect your words will have on a young mind.
Therefore, be careful what you say – and do!
As grown ups, fears may seem silly, but they may be very real to a little child. Laughing or teasing them won’t help to overcome their fears, on the contrary, it may worsen the situation.
What to say…some kids are natural risk takers and some are not…
It is always better to talk openly about their fears, and not encourage them. If fear issues are not resolved in early childhood, they may prevail later and become a life long problem to deal with.
Don’t Spoil Them With Material Things
Small kids can’t distinguish rich from poor and it is all the same to them. That is why their hearts are the purest ones as being honest and loving.
But, as we are living in consumption societies and success is measured by having material things in abundance, kids will soon value through these things comparing to others: do they have what others have?
Feelings of greed and envy may emerge, and that is the part where you need to jump in and solve the issue.
Talk a lot and give examples.
Sparkle that natural born goodness and they’ll bless you for that later on.
It is really wise if you don’t spoil your children granting and providing them with everything. You should teach them to value what they have, since many are not that fortunate in life.
Nourish that inner compassionate part of their character, and let them know how good is to be an empathic, kind and giving person.
Having abundance and a strong will to share in a reasonable manner to help others, will lift up their soul to a totally another dimension, making them being worthy and honorable human beings on this Planet…
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