Why Are You Sabotaging Relationships
Maybe you’re not aware that having these habits may be the top reason of you sabotaging relationships in your life.
Are you one of those who does this on purpose, or you’re just unaware of it?
The most common signs of a relationship sabotage you are probably making are:
1.You’re Hooked To Your Phone
Unfortunately, this obsession of yours can cost you a relationship. No one wants to sit opposite a person who is checking its phone rather than having conversation.
Imagine a situation where both of you are in a restaurant, you have a beautiful and romantic dinner, and your partner is not paying attention to your efforts of starting conversation because of constant god damn phone check.
This bad habit can always sink a relationship, and if keeping your cell phone ON, and looking at it every time it makes a noise – may cost you highly.
This action tells your partner he/she is not as important as whoever else is trying to reach you.
Turn off your phone when you’re having a lunch or a dinner, being intimate, or doing anything else where your partner expects your full attention.
Don’t be disrespectful.
Another way of sabotaging relationships is jealousy.
No one wants such partner in their lives where jealousy occurs every time someone called you, or where were you and when questioning every single time is involved.
Yes, it’s a major sign of insecurity and a fear of abandonment.
To smooth it over, talk to your partner about your feelings and concerns, and about specific situations that made you feel jealous.
Explain why you believe you felt that way.
In case you see patterns of having jealousy behaviors, it is a good idea to talk with a counselor, so both of you can process your feelings and discover why jealousy plays such a big role in your life.
3.You’re Complaining All The Time
Nobody wants to be with a person who is nagging and complaining ALL the time. It can easily create tension and bad vibes between partners.
First, you need to figure out what is bothering you and why is there a persistent urge to complain about anything and everything.
This comes as a result of being dissatisfied with yourself, and you’re transferring it to every possible situation there is.
As soon as you find your self-confidence and start seeing yourself and the world with different eyes, it will save your relationship from disaster.
No one wants to live with a complainer.
Snap out of it.
This is a life discipline to cultivate.
Always try to make a conscious effort to thank your partner even for the smallest things:
- their hard work
- helping around the house
- keeping the kids checked
- taking out the trash
- washing the dishes etc.
There are so many things to appreciate and be grateful to your partner.
Don’t spare good words – use them as much as you can, so your partner can see you appreciate their efforts of keeping good balance in your lives.
5.You’re Not Up For A Better Communication
Lack of communication is by far sabotaging relationships. It’s really hard to deal with a person who is not fond of talking.
Not having an open dialogue and effective communication system in place can cause feelings of resentment, misunderstanding, emotional pain and feelings of being unappreciated.
Find time and place to deal with all matters that concern you.
If you let too much time to pass and don’t talk about certain issues, it can cause you to hide your true feelings instead.
Share with your partner your everyday life situations. It will open you up and you’ll get closer with your partner, giving a sense of bigger trust and confidence.
These communications skills can help improve the dialogue with your partner, and you can easily get back on the right track sooner.
6.You Have Superiority Issues
Many people destroy their relationships because they see their partner as inferior one.
There are many signs of superior complex you may have but you’re maybe not aware of, until someone point them out.
You may have this quality of being arrogantly superior and disdainful. You tend to find others below their level they think they are on.
You’re always right and everybody is wrong
If you’re unable to prove you are right, you will definitely prove everybody else is wrong. You always look down upon everything that someone else does, or is someone else’s opinion.
Lack of empathy
If you have this complex, you’re are being defined as a person with a cold heart and lack of empathy. For you it is difficult to even consider empathy for others as it is a distant thing for you to deal with.
You’re obsessed with yourself only.
You’re a bragger
You will always find something to brag about. It will be something about yourself or the things you own. You just need to cover that insecurity of yours and brag about everything, so you can stress your significance.
This is characteristic of weak people.
You’re a major conversational interrupter
You think it is always your God given right to get into a conversation. Whether you understand the subject or not, it really doesn’t matter as you will always have a opinion.
You know what?
Others avoid people like you.
7.You’re Manipulative Person
This defines you as a master liar.
Compulsively lying to your partner is detrimental to the success of your relationship. You always accuse your loved one of being crazy or paranoid, so you can keep them off your trail of lies you serve all the time.
Aren’t you ashamed?
Eventually, your partner will leave you without any explanation.
Because you didn’t deserved it!
8.You’re Threatening With A Break Up
People use threats for sabotaging relationships and as a way to get their partner in line, or things done their own way of perception.
However, you should be aware that no one likes to waste their time and energy arguing.
If you are always drawing the break-up card every time things get tough, it is a pure sign of your personal weakness and a sick way to control your partners emotions.
Don’t do that.
Threats of taking a break or ending the relationship aren’t going to solve anything in a toxic relationship.
You should never threaten the relationship unless you intend to really get out. It’s only valid if you mean it and do it, otherwise it just damages the safety and security of the relationship.
Instead of using threats to get your way, walk away to cool down and think rationally before you do something you may regret later.
Narcissists are extremely self-serving and feel no remorse when they hurt others, which makes them difficult to be around.
You’re only aware of what your partner does TO you and FOR you, and not aware of what you do to them.
Narcissism is a behavior that is very difficult to overcome, but it can be done if you identify that you’ve treated others unkindly and are self-serving in relationships.
The first step to changing any behavior is recognizing you have a problem and finding ways to resolve it.
10.You’re Never Responsible For Your Actions
If you blame everyone else for your misfits, it may boost your ego shortly and only hurt your relationship.
You have to be responsible for your actions and truly try to understand what’s behind the scenes. Otherwise, you’ll never grow into a mature person having a healthy relationship.
Admitting your mistakes is one of many ways to help your relationship go to further distance.
11.You’re Not Showing Emotions
Even if it’s not your intention and if you’re always unresponsive towards your partner, you can make them doubt your true feelings.
You should know that such behavior is toxic for your relationship, and it may be one of the biggest reasons why are you sabotaging relationships.
Such non-responsive and non-emotional behavior puts your partner in a state of insecurity, because they’re going to interpret it as threat (even if you don’t have such intention in a first place).
Try to involve more and become an active listener.
Give emotional expressions in response to what your partner is saying, so you can let them know what you’re thinking.
12.You Criticize All The Time
If you always find a reason to criticize your partner – you’ll end up alone in your life. No one wants such a person into their life.
You have to put yourself in the other person’s position and realize how would you feel if you were criticized 24/7.
Your over-criticizing shows your personal problems you can’t deal with.
Why it is sabotaging relationships?
Criticism is destructive to relationships when it is:
- About personality or character, rather than behavior
- Filled with blame
- Not focused on improvement
- Based on only one “right way” to do things
Criticism in close relationships starts out on a low key in most cases and escalates over time, forming a downward spiral of resentment.
The criticized person feels controlled and frustrated, and the one who does the criticism, increases the other’s sense of being controlled.
Criticism is an easy form of ego defense.
We don’t criticize because we disagree with a behavior or an attitude.
We criticize because we somehow feel devalued by the behavior or attitude. Critical people tend to be easily insulted and especially in need of ego defense.
Are you having an ego problems?
13. You Partner Always Know Things Last
Every relationship in your life should be filled with honesty. Your partner should be the first person you confide in and not the last one.
If not, that kind of behavior can be interpreted by your partner as betrayal.
If you want a true and meaningful relationship, you should be open about everything and try to solve any issues you deal with.
Letting your partner to be the last one who finds out what you’r dealing with is hurtful, disrespectful and will sabotage your relationship.
Eventually, you need to stop sabotaging relationships as you may grow old all ALONE.
That’s bottom line!
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