What Is Parenting
Parenting is the ultimate long-term investment. Be prepared to put far more into it than you get out of it, at least for some time.
Given the stresses of contemporary culture, the happiness of couples changes the minute they become parents. And it gets worse before it gets better. In the long run, it is the most rewarding job of your life.
Parents exert enormous influence over their children’s development. They are, however, not the only influences, especially after children enter school.
It’s especially important that parents give children a good start, but it’s also important for parents to recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, and it is the parents’ job to provide an interface with the world that eventually prepares a child for complete independence.
In a rapidly changing world parenting seems subject to fads and changing styles, but the needs of child development as delineated by science remain relatively stable.
The 10 Principles Of Good Parenting
1.What you do matters
This is one of the most important principles. What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you and they mimic you. So,be careful what type of parent role model you will be.
2.Don’t be too loving
It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love.What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child, is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love – material possessions.
3.Be involved in your child’s life
Being an involved parent takes time and hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do, for what your child needs are. You have to be present both, mentally and physically.
Being involved does not mean doing a child’s homework ,or reading it over and correcting it. Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not. If you do the homework, you’re not letting the teacher know what the child is learning and improving.
4.Adapt your parenting to fit your child
Keep pace with your child’s development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child’s behavior.Consult a professional if needed.
5.Establish and set rules
If you don’t somehow manage your child’s behavior when it is young, it will have a hard time learning how to manage itself when it will be older and you aren’t around.
Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing?
The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies in life.
6.Foster your child’s independence
Setting limits helps your child to develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence, helps them to develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, a child is going to need them both.
It is normal for children to push for autonomy.Many parents mistakenly equate their child’s independence with rebelliousness or disobedience.
Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control,rather than to feel controlled by someone else.
If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable manner, or if you enforce them only from time to time, your child’s misbehavior is your fault, not his.
Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiable issues. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.
Many parents have problems being consistent.When parents aren’t consistent, children get confused. You have to force yourself to be more consistent.
8.Avoid harsh discipline
Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances. Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children.They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others.
There is a lot of evidence that spanking causes aggression in children, which can lead to relationship problems with other kids.There are many other ways to discipline a child, including ‘time out,’ which work better and do not involve aggression.
9.Explain your rules and decisions
Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to.Generally, parents over-explain to young children and under-explain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn’t have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have.
10.Treat your children with respect
The best way to get respectful treatment from your children is to treat them respectfully.You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else.
- Speak to them politely
- Respect their opinion
- Pay attention when they are speaking to you
- Treat them kindly
- Try to please them when you can but not to spoil them (everything has boundaries)
Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for its relationships with others further in life.Parents sometimes, forget to consider the child, to respect the child.
Know this…if you have a good relationship, and you’re really in tune with your child, that’s what really matters. Then none of this will be an issue.