Today, it is so rare to meet a couple that haven’t run into a few bumps on the road and make love life to be hard sometimes. But, if you recognize possible problems ahead of time, you’ll have a much better chance of passing them
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage bad times and keep their love life going.
They decide hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many of them do this by reading self-helping books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling or observing other successful couples.
Main Relationship Problem: Communication
All relationship problems rise from poor communication. You can’t communicate while you’re checking your mobile, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section. Honesty is always a good track to ride on, since it should make people closer.
Good communication is an essential part of a good relationship. It is THE fundamental base of everything. Not communicating well will take your relationship to a disaster. And no one wants that…
How to improve your communication?
Try To Find The Right Time For Conversation
If you like to make a conversation about something that is bothering you for a longer period of time, you should find perfect timing do it.
You can do conversation when both of you are calm, not distracted, stressed or in a rush. You can even consider to schedule time to talk if both of you are busy!
Talk In Person – Facing Each Other
If you like to talk about serious matter, don’t do that in writing because any text messages, letters or emails can be misinterpreted.
Always talk in person to avoid any unnecessary miscommunication. If you’re having trouble collecting your thoughts, write them down before your talk and read them out loud to your partner.
Better something than nothing!
Don’t Be Offensive
Even when you mean well, you can sometimes poorly choose appropriate word choice. Using the word “you” can sound like you’re attacking, making your partner to become defensive and less receptive to your message.
Instead, try using “I” or “we.” For example you can say “I feel like we haven’t been as close as much for a long time” instead of “You have been distant with me for some time”.
Even though truth can be hurtful, it is the main key ingredient of any healthy relationship. You can always admit your imperfection and apologize when you make a mistake instead of always making excuses. It will help strengthen and improve your relationship on long road.
Watch The Moves
When you do the conversation, give your partner full attention: sit up, face them and make eye contact when speaking.
While talking, don’t take any phone calls, text or play video games. It is rude and not polite. Show your partner you have respect by listening and responding to the conversation.
Are You Familiar With 48 h Rule?
If your partner does something that makes you angry, you need speak about it, but don’t do it right away. Wait until you cool off a bit avoid unnecessary damage. When people are angry, they get to say things they will be sorry later.
If you’re still angry and hurt 48 hours later, you should definitely need to say something about it, because if you don’t – forget about it.
Your partner can’t read your mind and if you don’t speak up when you’re upset, there is no way for them to apologize or change.
Once you mention your hurt feelings and anger, and your partner sincerely apologies- let it go. Don’t bring up past issues if they’re not relevant to the matter.
Communication When You Are Angry
It is perfectly fine to get angry occasionally, but what’s more important is how to handle anger situations and avoid possible damage.
The question is – What to do in such situations?
Simply – STOP!
If you get really angry about something it is better to stop, take a step back and breathe deeply.You can tell your partner you’d like to take a short break before continuing the conversation.
You should give yourself time to calm down a bit by watching TV, talking to a friend, playing a video game, taking a walk, listening to some music or whatever helps you relax.
Taking a small break can keep the situation from getting worse.
When you lower your anger feelings and you’re no longer upset, think-through the situation and what got you so mad.
Was it how your partner spoke or did something ? Think-over and figure out the real problem, and then think about how to explain your feelings. And talk.
When you want to start a conversation, always let your partner to say what it is needed to be said. Listen and don’t interrupt.
Not that it is only not polite. but you show no respect for the opposite opinion. You both deserve the opportunity to express how you feel in a safe and healthy environment.
Try to find a solution, to move forward and make improvement of your love life. All relationships are built along the way in life and everyone should make an effort to preserve and upgrade it’s relationship.
It is worth to try, don’t you think so?