Better Self-Esteem – How Your Kids To Have It
If you want to build a better self-esteem in your kids, you really need to work hard on the subject. Raising good and confident kids takes a lot of time and effort.
Today, we’re gonna explore how to improve this skill in children, and make sure you turn them into better and more confident persons as they grow up day by day.
Both low self-esteem and self-confidence can be deeply rooted, having origins in traumatic childhood experiences.
This can happen for various reasons such as :
- prolonged separation from one of the parents
- long-term emotional neglection
- physical abuse
- sexual abuse etc.
And in later life, most often self-esteem can be undermined by:
- negative life events such as divorce
- losing a job
- bad and frustrating relationships
- general sense of lack of control
Also, not to forget to mention that this sense of lack of control may be especially marked in victims of:
- emotional, physical, or sexual abuse
- or victims of discrimination on the grounds of religion, culture, race, sex or sexual orientation
The relationship between low self-esteem, mental disorder and mental distress is very complex. Most often, low self-esteem predisposes to mental disorder, which in turn knocks the self-esteem down.
Usually people with low self-esteem tend to see the world as a hostile place to live in and declare themselves as its victims.
As a result, they can’t express themselves enough, missing out many experiences and opportunities and feeling powerless to change things for their own well-being.
And this is not what you want your children to become, would you?
Therefore, you need to work persistently to build better self-esteem in your kids and prepare them for the grand journey called LIFE!
Difference In Kids With High And Low Self-Esteem
Most often it is easy to notice when kids feel good about themselves and times when they don’t, and we define this idea of feeling good about themselves as having knowledge of “self-esteem”.
Kids who have healthy self-esteem usually :
- think good about themselves
- are ready for daily challenges
- are proud when they do well given tasks
- feel valued and are accepted for who they are
- feel confident of doing what is expected from them
Kids who have unhealthy self-esteem usually :
- feel insecure
- think they are not valued as other kids
- are lack of confidence as a result of “under-value thinking pattern”
- are doubtful about themselves of doing well at any given task
- are negatively self-critical
Why Self Esteem Is So Crucial and Matters
When children feel good about themselves, they have success both in school and in maintaining their friendships.
Positive feelings like self-acceptance or self-confidence, help kids to deal with new challenges, to learn from their mistakes and enhance their will-power to try again.
Taking pride in their abilities and accomplishments helps children do their best.
On the other hand, kids with low self-esteem might feel highly unsure of themselves. If they think they will not be accepted by others, they may decide not to participate in everyday challenges.
They may allow themselves to be treated poorly, not having any desire to stand up for themselves. If this continues to develop as a negative pattern, they surely will have much trouble of moving boldly through life.
Usually, such kids may avoid challenges, give up easily, or be unable to bounce back from mistakes and block their own success.
How To Develop And Build Better Self Esteem In Your Kids
Believe it or not, kids do not develop self-esteem by telling them how wonderful they are, how special and great they are.
When children compete among each other, they can see that their own hard work and practice is making all the difference, and earning a prize can only build better self-esteem, knowing they’ve earned it because they were good enough.
As a result, children feel more:
- capable, because they’ve learned to do things for themselves
- effective, because they saw their efforts gave good results
- accepted, because their good results were praised by parents or others, giving them the encouragement they needed
How can self-esteem be nurtured?
Self-esteem develops over time, and if it’s low, it can surely be raised.
Here are a couple of things parents can do:
1.Help Kids To Learn Things
There are always new things kids can learn, starting from holding a cup, taking the first steps, learning to dress, read, or ride a bike.
All of those are perfect opportunities for high self-esteem to take its solid roots.
Start with simple things.
2. Show Them How To Do Things
Let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. Be sure your children have lots of opportunities to choose and learn from, and try to make them feel proud when doing tasks successfully.
You shouldn’t make new challenges too easy, or too hard.
Make mild versions of everything you test them to do, so you can be a silent shadow following their steps and monitor tasks fulfillment.
Step in when it is really needed.
3.Wisely Praise Your Child
Praise is good, but not if it is blown out of proportion.
Your praise is a way to show that you are a proud parent of what your kids have done, but be careful – some ways of praising kids too much can actually backfire.
4. Become A Good Role Model
When YOU as a parent, put efforts into everyday tasks such as mowing the lawn, making a meal, cleaning up the dishes, cleaning the bathroom or washing the car, you’re setting a good example for your kids.
You silently influence your kids to put effort into doing their homework, cleaning up toys, making the bed and making order in the closet.
And if you do all your domestic tasks cheerfully and without any complaining involved, you teach them to do the same.
By doing so, you are becoming a good role model and you build a better self-esteem for your kids.
5.Avoid Harsh Criticism
You should definitely avoid harsh criticism using words such as: you’re lazy, you’re not smart or else. Pronouncing these words makes their self-esteem lower, and sooner or later they may adopt those words as a part of their character.
You definitely should avoid this, because when kids absorb negative messages, they may feel bad about themselves and act accordingly.
Be more gentle.
6.Point Out Their Strengths Rather Than Weaknesses
Always try to pay attention to what your child does well and enjoy most, and make sure your child has all the opportunities to develop these strengths.
Nurturing strengths is better than focusing on weaknesses, if you want to help your children feel good about themselves and succeed in life.
A positive sense of self-worth is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.
Children with higher and better self-esteem level, feel more loved and competent to deal with everyday life challenges, and develop into happy and productive persons.
7. Give Them Choices
Giving children choices pre-selected by yourself such as breakfast option choices, movie choices, play choice etc., makes them feel empowered.
Learning to make simple choices while they’re young will help prepare them for more difficult choices they’ll face in life.
8. Let Them Try And Then Offer Help If Necessary
If you want your kids to have better self-esteem – don’t do everything for them.
Let them try first and see how they’ll manage given tasks. And if they stuck somewhere, make them comfy to ask help from you.
Letting them do things for themselves helps the process of developing new skills.
The more challenges they meet – the more competent and confident they will become.
And that’s what you want, right?
9. Avoid Making Comparisons
This is something you shouldn’t do in case you have more kids. Don’t compare them among each other, or to other neighborhood kids.
Not everyone has the ability to develop same skills. Each child is different and needs different approach.
Avoid comparisons like who’s better, or who’s smarter because you’ll ruin their fragile self-esteem which is just starting to develop.
Acknowledge their uniqueness.
10. More Quality Time With Your Children
Yes, we know you’re busy parents, struggling with personal and professional lifestyle you have, but you must find time to be with your kids more often.
Nannies are here to keep your kids being safe and sound, make them company when you’re not at home and it is perfectly reasonable to have them, as you have to make for a living.
But, when you’re home – try to have more quality time with your kids, as it is something that will leave deep traces in their souls, and at the same time set a firm foundation for their relationship issues waiting for them in their lives.
So, you better set things right and make your kids have better self-esteem, so they can grab life as they really should.
Be a proud parent for having such great kids, by giving them opportunity to become good and self-confident persons as they should be in order to conquer all obstacles life offers.
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